It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Randomize
