mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
