I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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