she was so not down for the gang bang
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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