I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
