You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
