Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
