I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
