brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
