you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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