i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
