This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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