it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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