Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
