Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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