Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
