ya dads aren't the best wingmen
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
