Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
