also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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