conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
we should paint friendship bongs
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