She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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