I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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