My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
