Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
