Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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