this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
