never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
