its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
