she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize