never play flip cup with pint glasses
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
