Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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