i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
