My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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