Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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