It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
