i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
