Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
