I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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