They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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