Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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