We're facebook friends in real life
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
