He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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