so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
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