I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
