i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
