i barfeds in our rink
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
