Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
