My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
