we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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