Walk of Shame. In a state park.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
